Whether intentional or not, all parents have a particular style for raising children. The style that is chosen affects EVERYTHING. Your child’s inner voice, their weight and even the way they feel about themselves are just a few. Let’s look at the four parenting styles and how exposure to them affects your children.
1. Authoritarian Parenting
“It’s my way, or the highway”
Authoritarian parents treasure obedience: they are not interested in negotiating. They expect their children to dutifully follow rules, they do not allow their children to problem-solve and favor punishments (making their children feel sorry for their mistakes) instead of discipline (teaching their children how to make better decisions). Children of authoritarian parents often show ‘blind obedience’ which is an unquestioning obedience, even when they are told to do something that they are not comfortable with or something that is wrong. We’ll save the dangers of blind obedience for another day.
Children of authoritarian parents tend to:
· Have a low self-esteem
· Lack social skills
· Be highly aggressive (outside of the home)
· Have a perfectionist mindset and has a hard time accepting failure
· Display blind obedience
2. Permissive parenting
“Kids will be kids”
Permissive parents tend to adopt the role of a friend which results in them avoiding conflict with their children at all costs. They rarely set rules for their children and if rules are set, they are rarely enforced. These parents believe that their children will learn best with little to no interference on their part and will usually go to great lengths to keep their children happy (often at their own expense). Children of permissive parents show little to no regard for authority, tend to struggle academically and have a higher risk for health issues like obesity or cavities.
Children of permissive parents tend to:
· Show a lack of boundaries
· Have underdeveloped coping skills
· Have a hard time accepting rejection or the word ‘no’
· Be disrespectful
3. Uninvolved Parenting
“Every man for themselves”
These parents tend to have a ‘hands-off’ approach when dealing with their children. They do not spend a lot of time with them, are not involved with their schooling or general development and are in an overall state of uncaring. Unlike the other parenting styles, uninvolved parenting may not always be intentional. While some uninvolved parents genuinely believe that their children should raise themselves, others may find themselves becoming a permissive parent due to circumstances that arise (they become overwhelmed with life’s issues or sometimes they were not prepared to become a parent).
Children of uninvolved parents tend to:
· Be at a higher risk of substance abuse
· Be afraid of becoming attached
· Be emotionally withdrawn
· Be delinquent during their teenaged years
4. Authoritative Parenting
“One generation of deeply-loving parents will change the brains of the next generation, and with that- the world”
Authoritative parents (which are now being referred to as positive/gentle parents) are nurturing, supportive and are practically in tune with their child’s needs. They establish rules and consequences, they validate their child’s opinions and feelings and prioritizes their relationships with their children. Authoritative parents use positive disciple strategies to reinforce positive behaviors, they allow room for their children to have open and honest discussions which allows them to feel confident and teaches them how to make good choices.
Children of authoritative parents tend to:
· Become responsible and confident adults
· Regulate their emotions well
· Develop great social skills
· Be able to critically think and make good decisions (as they would grow up doing so)
What’s your parenting style? Do you see any of its effects in your children?
Comments